Two weeks ago, one of my biggest learning experiences started — with the arrival of our puppy Pepito. Yes, I had expected sleep deprivation and cleaning pee from the floor, but I had underestimated the amount of personal development required. Suddenly I had to check in with myself: is my voice genuinely assertive or do I silently doubt myself? Where is the line between discipline and overprotection? And then the most difficult yet most important lesson: timing is key! I admit
“He never helps me with the household chores.” “It is always me who has to start the conversation!” Yes, as a relationship coach I hear these sort of statements all the time from my clients. Let me stop you right there: are you nagging and complaining and are frustrated that you don’t see the desired changes in your partner? Well, we often wrongly assume that our partner has the same thoughts and assumptions as us — but how realistic is this? Loving somebody also means being
Coming back to your "home country" might actually not feel like coming home. You have changed and might feel misunderstood. Learn ways to consciously deal with your feelings and your loved ones. #reversecultureshock #cultureshock #awareness
Valentine's Day is the perfect opportunity to Taking a conscious pause can be so necessary in these stressful and uncertain times. So join me: Sit down comfortably, close your eyes and gently place your hand on your heart. Ask yourself: How has your partner helped you grow recently? Which recent moments of connection/ intimacy/ adventure do you cherish? What part of your relationship has taken a positive turn, for instance which issues do you both handle in a healthier way no
We often wrongly assume that our partner has the same thoughts and assumptions as us. Loving somebody also means being open and vulnerable with your feelings, thoughts and wishes.
Make it easy for your partner to have empathy - be specific.
Statements such as "please be more respectful" or "please be more considerate" or "can you please stop belittling me" leave a lot of room for interpretation. Give detailed examples of moments you felt happy, connected or loved. Be specifi
When moving to a new country there are a million things to organise: from health insurance to visa to getting a new flat and learning the language. While these are super important and often terribly frustrating, I want to talk about an often-forgotten area of preparation:
mental preparation. Don't make the mistake of only focusing on the logistics - take time to mentally prepare. You are about to lose your normal reference points: your favourite ice cream store at the local m
Tips for intercultural couples # 4 To travel to your partner's home country is so important to understand what shaped her/him. In times of Covid you can do a virtual travel via GoogleMaps, skyping friends and relatives and looking at old photos. Truly immerse yourself in the culture: 🌿soak in the smells and sounds of the local market 🌿understand which items people value by visit relatives’ houses 🌿get a feel of how people get to work by using local transport In many cases
Tips for intercultural couples #3 Cultural differences influence many of your daily actions. From food preparation to the way you communicate to privacy levels. When you feel distant from your partner because you don’t understand their actions, ask yourself what is need behind them? For instance:
🌿Is my partner longing for independence?
🌿Is my partner wishing for more appreciation or respect?
🌿Is my partner needing more privacy or connection? Due to cultural differences
Tips for intercultural couples # 2 🌿In an intercultural relationship you will have different beliefs, holidays, and rituals. What I often see with clients is that in their relationship the culture of one partner dominates, for instance because the couple lives in the home country of that partner. 🌿However, if one partner’s cultural identity is not being respected and embraced, resentment easily builds. One partner might feel they are losing their identify. So, as a couple s
Tips for intercultural couples #1 We easily assume that our loved one has similar thoughts, values, and perceptions. However, bear in mind your partner from a different culture has seen different status symbols and role models through fairy tales and movies.
He/she has grown up with different smells and spices in the kitchen, and was raised with different rules regarding respect, privacy or punctuality. A lot of tension in intercultural couples comes down to miscommunicatio